ashwagandha thyroid

May 2016


We got semi-serious in the spring about looking at houses. I attended a few open houses, we narrowed in on one neighborhood, and then we started making offers!


The preschool moms breakfast was the sweetest!

Soren was not feeling the music program.


Our fun Tinkergarten class continued through the month. Is Soren attacking a kid here?!


One Saturday we ventured to Copley to see Robert McCloskey’s daughter, Sally, do a reading of “Make Way for Ducklings.” So fun to hear backstory on the book — like how Bob rounded up a few ducks to look at while illustrating, and kept them in his bathtub in his NYC apartment.



Soren can be a bit of a bossypants know-it-all (he takes after his mother in many, many ways), to the point where he believes he can control traffic.


Few things are more glorious than the first warm days at the playground each spring.


Shaw LOVED his first ride in the swing.


I had to document this dinner, because how often is a meal so monochromatic — and totally unintentionally?!


More Tinkergarten fun.


Menotomy Rocks Park is a new favorite!


Soren’s preschool had a family picnic one night, complete with a petting zoo!


For my birthday, we spent the morning doing some of my favorites. Public Garden first.



Blackbird Donuts



Bubble festival


Oh, these brothers.


Soren totally mastered the scooter and hasn’t looked back. I’m LOVING this new phase.

He also decided he loves bashing into things while scooting.


More Tinkergarten fun.


Here, the kids were painting their “bindles” with DIY paints made from fruits and herbs.


Bindles complete.


Taking them on a hike to search for treasures to put in their sacks.



This is how Shaw does Tinkergarten.


Soren totally got his head stuck in the fence at Hardiman Park one afternoon. How does this even happen? First I took a picture, and then we worked to resolve the issue — Soren was totally panicked. Fortunately, a friend was there and knew just the trick — you have the kid walk the rest of his body (sideways) through the fence posts. Easy peasy!


Our first Walden day of the season!


I love putting this baby in the swing. He’s happy to just hang out on his own!


Tim and Soren disc golf day.


We took a trip to Butter Hill with my parents for a nature weekend. Thank you, Pappy, for taking both boys exploring!


Always together.


Nighttime reading of the most giant Richard Scarry book ever.


Made a quick stop at the New England Ski Museum on our way to our morning hike.


Taking the tram up to the top of the mountain.



This hike looks like it’s easy, right? Turns out it was actually the hike of death (especially considering we had to carry two kids)!




A little post-hike cool-off.


So fun to spy black bears in the backyard.


Secrets with Pappy.


The Cabot factory in Vermont wasn’t too far beyond the church we attended. Here, Pappy and Soren are checking out old farm equipment.




On our way home from New Hampshire we swung by Kimball Farm for our first banana split of the season.


My three favorite boys.

April 2016


We started our April with a party for the 75th anniversary of our beloved “Make Way for Ducklings” at the actual Make Way for Ducklings store in Faneuil Hall. First up, craft time.


Then face painting.

And the highlight of it all was when Soren was interviewed for an NPR story. We didn’t think much of it and didn’t see anything on the NPR site for a few days, so we figured the story didn’t run. But a few months later, a friend said he’d heard Soren on the radio! Here’s the audio clip:


Obligatory stop at Boston Public Market for a Saturday morning donut.



No one dotes on my boys more than sweet Mimoza. She built a little nest around Shaw to keep him from falling over.


Five months old!



Marathon Monday! Soren insisted on bringing the flag from our bike trailer. Kids are weird.



I love this family candid.


“Mom, there’s a man called Radiohead. Have you heard of him? We should listen to him.” Where did this kid come from?


Someone is learning how to spell… (and no, he didn’t barf).


Soren and Shaw got the storytime lady all to themselves for a little while at the MFA. We didn’t see much art that day.


First popsicle! Almost 4 years old — does that make me a bad mom?


Tim is good to force us outside on Sunday afternoons when we mostly want to lie around and do nothing. This day we walked around Hale Reservation in Westwood.



As he points to each one: “This is my water, this is my juice, and this is my alcohol.” What?!




Exploring in Menotomy Rocks Park.

#DearMom :: Lands’ End’s Mother’s Day Celebration {and Giveaway!}

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I’m convinced that being a mother is actually the hardest job in the world. The hours aren’t just long, they’re unending. The sleep deprivation is akin to torture. The messes are ever present — poop, crackers smashed into the rug, vomit, Legos in every nook and cranny of the house. The tiny people in this house seem to need food prepared for them at all hours of the day (and night, for the infant). The patience a needy newborn demands is astonishing. And the skill required to negotiate with a threenager is often beyond my abilities.

So to say that mothers deserve a little more appreciation is an understatement. Even knowing full well how thankless the job can be, I’m as guilty as the next person of not showing my own mother the gratitude she deserves!


This Mother’s Day, Land’s End is making it a bit easier on us all with their #DearMom campaign. Through events in Sears stores and online, Lands’ End is providing creative new ways to celebrate mom. Here’s how you can join the fun (and take home a Lands’ End gift card!).

  • Stop by Sears in Natick to celebrate mom: On Friday, April 29, and Saturday, April 30, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sears in Natick will be all decked out with Mother’s Day fun. The first 50 people at each event will receive a Lands’ End gift card to be used toward a Mother’s Day purchase! Try the #DearMom custom video booth to record and send a message to mom (and be automatically entered to win a $500 gift card!). Or visit the #DearMom custom lettering station, where a local lettering expert will be on hand to write a custom card from you to your mom.
  • Show mom how much you care: Through May 6, share a Mother’s Day message, photo, or video on Instagram and/or Twitter using #dearmom, #contest, and #mylandsend for a daily chance to win a $100 Lands’ End gift card. (Each day, @LandsEndPR will post a unique prompt or question.)

Also, stay tuned for an Instagram/Twitter post that’ll give you a chance to win a $100 Lands’ End gift card!

Proof that my mom is a supermom — she made us these coordinating rompers. I refused to wear mine.

Proof that my mom is a supermom — she made us these coordinating rompers. I refused to wear mine.

March 2016

Here’s our March! Light on photos, heavy on vids.


Finally, at age 3.5, Soren watched his first television show! Sesame Street, the show of my childhood, kicked things off for him.


Evening fun at Cambridge Common.



Soren’s preschool class took a field trip to the MFA. We loved the kid-friendly tour and the accompanying art project!


Museum pose.




Nothing like a late-March snowstorm to remind us we live in Boston.


“You know why I have this bowl on my head? ‘Cause I’m pretending to be a Jewish kid.”



Easter egg hunt at Tim’s co-worker’s house.

February 2016

As if I even remember what happened in February at this point! But I’ve been feeling the urge to get my “journal” up to date lately, so here we go.


We spent a lot of our mornings and afternoons like this. With Soren at preschool in the mornings and still napping well in the afternoon, Shaw ended up sleeping on me all. the. time. This meant I only had one hand free for the laptop, which cut my productivity in half. But it did inspire this blog post.


Tim and Soren got in a few good sledding Saturdays.


And a hockey game! Obviously, the zamboni was a hit.


Soren was totally sold on the dentist when he learned that his hygienist’s dad was a real life fire chief — and her favorite color is read, like Soren’s. Win. If any local friends are looking for a pediatric dentist, you’ll LOVE Dr. Weiss.


Soren’s preschool art show was the BEST. They had spent many weeks studying Andy Goldsworthy and Vincent Van Gogh. The two photos here are Soren’s take on some of Goldsworthy’s nature sculptures.


This is Soren’s take on “Starry Night.”



And Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers.”



My 3-month-old lover on Valentine’s Day.


The only other photo that captured our V-Day. Loads and loads of laundry. Mom life doesn’t stop on holidays, I guess. (Tim was making dinner, though — I won’t complain!)


After much deliberation, we decided to stay in Boston for Tim to take a job at Harvard. Boston for life!


Once we made our big life decision, we were off to Arizona for Layton family fun — and sun! Short sleeves never felt so good.





Golf cart rides are one of the major perks of visiting the great grandparents.


We visited a small candy factory for a tour and some tasting. Don’t ask me what Soren is wearing on his head.


The kids got to make a strange little “treat.” Pretzels, white chocolate “eggs,” and a yellow candy “yolk.”


Shaw fell asleep in the car, as usual, so we swung by Cabela’s for Soren to check out the wildlife. So much camo in that store. Yikes.


We logged some good playground hours.


We found the low-budget Enchanted Island Amusement Park to be a dream for two 3-year-olds. First, the train ride!


Train ride selfie!


Bumper boats.




Soren rode this roller coaster about a million times. Front car, back car, and everywhere in between.


Great-grandpa took us to see his planes at the Air Force base.



And we finished our trip with a windy Mexican meal out. Perfection.


We missed our flight home by about 90 seconds, reinforcing our belief that leaving the East coast is usually a bad idea. This guy finally fell asleep near the end of our flight home.


Back in Boston, Tim and Soren finished out the month with a Saturday morning at a tinker workshop. Future engineer, here we come!



January 2016

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We kicked off the new year with our third annual New Year’s Day visit to the train exhibit at the Botanic Garden.

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Soren remembered that James was part of the exhibit last year… but we couldn’t find him anywhere this time. Finally, at the last minute, we discovered his hiding spot!

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Both boys were napping by 10:30 a.m. Thank you, pacifiers.

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Highway potty stops for all.

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Back at home, this lover boy turned two months old!

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Our Christmas just kept coming. We had a pile of presents under the tree that didn’t make it down to Virginia, so we opened a few every couple of days.

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At a recent checkup, Soren’s world was rocked when he saw Curious George on the waiting room TV. He had no idea George was anything but a book character.

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I’m kind of embarrassed to post this picture. But this is what the back of Soren’s hair had become before his very first haircut.

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As he does with most new experiences, Soren took this very seriously.

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Inches and inches… gone.

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Just another afternoon nap with my baby in my lap and my laptop by my side.

December 2015

Happy December! Since Shaw was born I’ve been feeling like I never take pictures anymore. After loading them all here, though, it seems we’ve got plenty!

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This sight is a regular afternoon occurrence. The sunglasses are usually safety goggles for construction work. The cape is always on backwards. On this particular day, he ran into the room and yelled, “I’m Superman! I do baaaad things.”

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For about a week, Soren would ask to have Shaw join him in his crib after he woke up for the morning. He also would regularly ask, “Is Shaw big enough to play yet?” I think he’s now figured out that it’s going to take awhile.

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Santa and the mayor made their way around Boston for the various tree lightings throughout the city. We walked to the Oak Square festivities and arrived just as Santa was wrapping up — so no line! We reminded Soren a number of times that Santa isn’t real, but it’s pretty confusing when you’re sitting on his lap.

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Just another Sunday evening.

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Four weeks old.

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Grandmama came to town to help for a few days while Tim crammed and slept in preparation for his Harvard interview. When it was all over, we celebrated by getting Reubens at Boston Public Market. Soren mostly cared about the play place.

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One month old!


During a midnight feeding I decided we needed to take family pictures before the winter weather set in. So first thing in the morning I texted a friend who met us 15 minutes before the church Christmas party was going to start. She snapped a few photos and we called it good. Impromptu photo shoots are kind of a good way to go — no time to think about what to wear and no time to stress over the fact that I was months overdue for a haircut. You just do it, and it turns out fine!







This is the photo that ended up on our holiday cards. It’s now February and I still haven’t sent them all out.




At the church party, Soren worked on a gingerbread village with two doting girls. I love watching him work the crowd at church or church functions. He knows everyone (and most adults he addresses by first and last name) and doesn’t feel the need to stick too close to his parents.

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During the church Christmas program the next day, the Primary kids sang a few songs. We didn’t know if the rising Sunbeams were supposed to join or if Soren knew the words to the songs. But he decided to make his way up there and sing off to the side. We still aren’t sure if he knew the songs.


Look at this fatso!

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Soren’s preschool Christmas play was pretty awesome. Despite singing all the words at home, he kept his mouth shut during the performance. And he was pretty distracted by the action on the stage.


Another day, another Duplo creation. He called this one a “train track party.”

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And then we made our way to Virginia for interviews for Tim and family holiday fun. Our drive went pretty smoothly, other than too many stops for Soren to go potty and for Shaw to nurse. We stopped at a large Wawa gas station hoping to find an eating area where I could feed Shaw. No go. I asked an employee if there was any place to sit, and she graciously wheeled a comfy chair out of their small office. Beats nursing in the car!

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At my parents’ church we sat in the first row of chairs and had the giant aisle in front of us. Since we were at vacation church, we decided to forego any attempts at reverence. Soren enjoyed parading around the chapel singing the hymns and waving a squirrel puppet to the beat.


Of course I can never catch the smile in a photo. But at six weeks, Soren started giving us some good grins. Right on schedule.

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I love a baby in a onesie.

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When I heard the Elephant and Piggie play was at the Kennedy Center, I jumped online to search for tickets. After a few days, the unsold handicapped seats were released for purchase! Look at this kid parading the Hall of Nations like he owns the joint.

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Watching Soren watch this play was one of my favorite motherhood moments to date.

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Another attempt to catch a smile.

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Little grump.


Soren liked making his way down to the basement to visit Beau and Mackenzie. And their bed, apparently.

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We had to visit the zoo while were in Virginia. But this time we got our first zoo lights experience (after it got dark, of course).

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We took a day trip to Charlottesville with my parents since we knew Tim would be interviewing at UVA in January. Soren was sold on the place after trying the fried chicken.

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Pappy and Grandmama taught Soren the fine art of getting trucks to honk.

November 2015

November has become a bit of a blur. But I’m proud of myself for not getting more than a few months behind on our family journal!

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The first day of November was just about the most amazingly beautiful day I could imagine. Super warm, perfectly sunny, and autumn goodness in all its glory.

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We met friends at Beaver Brook for stream stomping, playground exploration, and a picnic party.

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Soren and I typically stopped by the playground on Mt. Auburn street after my prenatal appointments. One day we left the hospital at 5 p.m. and it was pretty much pitch black outside. I had a hard time explaining to Soren why we couldn’t play, so we played. In the dark.

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I tried to prep Soren verbally for the big life change that was headed our way. Many days he would ask if I could tell him something about babies. So one day we had a swaddle lesson.

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We visited the Museum of Science one morning when I started to realize that impromptu trips would become much more difficult soon. He spent a long while experimenting with bubbles (and safety goggles).

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A house full of sweet friends joined me for a baby “sprinkle” (not to be confused with a baby shower). So fun to celebrate! And check out this cake!

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It’s kind of nice to have a tiny yard and no responsibility for raking (thank you, landlord!).

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I love when Tim and Soren take Sunday morning adventures and leave me to nap in peace. The Arboretum is one of their favorite spots.

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And then, Shaw was born! Full story and more photos here.

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First car ride (coming home from the hospital).

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Remember this sleeper? (5 days old)

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Soren has been strangely adaptable with this new brother thing. He even shares his Llama Llama with Shaw when he’s feeling sad. (5 days old)

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Lots of sleepy snuggles. And lots of time on the Boppy.

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Eight days old.

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Dads’ breakfast at Soren’s school.

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Soren had been eyeing this construction site on the way to and from school for weeks. So he and Tim stopped one day to check it out.

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Sunday naps for all! (9 days old)

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A blurry selfie from our first family-of-four walk. (10 days old)

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Nobody turn me in to DCF, but Shaw didn’t get his first bath until he was 11 days old. I guess we were busy or something.

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I told Soren about the giant bagel sculpture at The Street in Chestnut Hill, and he begged for days to be able to go see it.

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Thanksgiving Day family kickball game.

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His form looks good until you notice that he’s kicking the ball in the completely wrong direction.

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Tim and Soren took a Black Friday bike ride while Shaw and I were lazy at home.

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Disc golf! Look at that form!

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The cutest caddy you ever did see.

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My sweeties.

Happy Birth Day, Shaw!

Welcome to the world, Shaw!

Welcome to the world, Shaw!

During labor and for the few days after Shaw’s birth, I was fairly certain I’d never want to do it again. I thought Soren’s birth was the hardest thing I’d ever done. But this topped it! At the same time, I keep reminding myself that I can do anything for four hours, no matter how painful or difficult it may be. So maybe I’ll have a third kid someday.

On to the birth story! Shaw’s birth day was not exactly what I was expecting — all I’ve ever known is Soren’s birth, which seemed perfect, and I’d wondered for months how we would all deal with things the second go ‘round. I’ll admit that my primary concern was Soren — how would he handle having someone else put him to bed? What if he woke up one morning and Tim and I weren’t there to greet him? Would Tim be able to take care of Soren while also spending time with me and baby post birth?

Partly because I’d been so worried about all that and mostly because I rocked childbirth the first time, I didn’t exactly prepare for labor and birth this time. I definitely thought about it, but I didn’t dive in to the books and my Hypnobabies mp3s and internet research like I did when I was pregnant with Soren. I was banking on the belief that childbirth is a perfectly natural experience that my body and mind would know how to handle when the time came. And although labor was insanely intense and difficult, everything happened as nature designed it to, and the end result was as perfect as can be.

In the weeks leading up to Shaw’s birth day, my body had felt much differently than with the last few weeks of my pregnancy with Soren. With Soren I was hoping to go past my due date to better accommodate our pending move to a new apartment. I felt great and was still going for long walks every day, fully enjoying the pregnancy and all that came with it. This time, I wasn’t quite as enamored with the whole nine-months-pregnant stage. Don’t get me wrong — I still loved my pregnancy and found it far easier to deal with than taking care of a newborn. But I was more tired this time around. I was less active in the final month, so my body was feeling a little out of shape. I had a harder time sleeping. The “practice” contractions I never experienced with Soren were very real this time, and each one reminded me what labor feels like (which scared me very much!). And I loathed all the bending over and getting up and down from the floor that parenting a preschooler requires. And since Soren was born at 38 weeks, I had a hard time not thinking that pregnancy lasts 38 weeks, and once I drew close to that marker it became difficult to imagine dealing with my huge, heavy pregnant body much longer.

A couple days before I hit 38 weeks, a few dear friends threw me a baby “sprinkle,” which is a casual version of a baby shower, free of presents and games and anything organized. We joked about the fact that Soren was born two days after my baby shower for him — maybe the same thing would happen this time?

We continued on with our weekend, and on Monday morning I had a scheduled appointment with Dr. Hardiman. As usual, it took forever to get Soren out of the house, and we were very late, and we had to wait awhile in the waiting room. And, as usual, the appointment took about two seconds because the heartbeat was normal and I had no concerns or questions. I declined any sort of vaginal check, knowing it wouldn’t mean anything either way. I joked with Dr. Hardiman that today could be the day, but I admitted that I felt no signs of labor coming on. So off we went, stopping to play at the playground. And then Soren and I got in a little tiff when it was time to go home for lunch and naps. I was incredibly frustrated at his defiance since he behaves that way so rarely, and I eventually had to climb up a shaky ladder on to the play structure to carry his screaming self down and to the car. I remember thinking how ridiculous I probably looked climbing up there, dragging a 40-pound kid down the ladder, and battling him into his car seat, with my giant belly getting in the way all the while. Not our finest moment. I don’t remember what else happened that morning, but I do remember there being a few other tough moments, where Soren and I just weren’t clicking like we usually do. It made me feel really sad, since we typically get along swimmingly and don’t experience much contention.

So then, during Soren’s nap, when my body started feeling a little different, I went into panic mode. What if the baby was coming tonight, and Soren and I were on bad terms? This was not the day to have a baby! I couldn’t leave him when I’d been feeling so frustrated with him! I was already beginning to miss Soren being my one and only. And I got kind of emotional about it. (I did realize that all these feelings were probably not on Soren’s radar, and the events of the day probably didn’t phase him much.) So I got him up from his nap around 3:30 p.m. and we headed outside to the park — I wanted him to know he had my full attention in case this was his last day as an only child!

Before we went out, I started to feel a little crampy. And leaky. Neither of which I had felt when going into labor with Soren. I knew my water hadn’t broken, but there was definitely some fluid leaving my body down there. There was also a little bit of blood when I went to the bathroom (something else I didn’t experience when pregnant with Soren). I started prepping Soren, letting him know the baby could come tonight, and what would he think about having someone else there to put him to bed or take him to preschool in the morning. (We’d gone over these possible scenarios with him many times, but this time it was for real!)

I next called my mom to let her know things maybe were happening, since they were planning to drive from Virginia to Boston whenever I went into labor. I told her it might all be nothing, but who knows? I also called Tim, who offered to come home right then instead of waiting another 30 minutes, when he’d been planning to end his work day. I told him there was a good chance nothing would happen tonight, but I never refuse an offer to have him come home a few minutes early. So then Soren and I continued on with our play. We raced around the track at the playground. We kicked the soccer ball around the field. We threw the frisbee. We jumped around on the hopscotch numbers. And then I got a little crampier, and the sun was beginning to set. So we walked back home and settled in on Soren’s rug with a few books. I texted our doula to let her know I was feeling things, and right when she texted back to ask if I’d had any contractions — it was 5:15 p.m. — the first one hit me.


The final belly shot.

I was on my hands and knees, breathing through it, and Soren was wondering why I couldn’t focus on the book we were reading. But he was a good sport through the first few contractions, which came about 15 minutes apart. After two or so, I texted the doula again and called Dr. Hardiman to let her know tonight was the night. She said she’d be ready for whenever the contractions got close enough together that I wanted to come into the hospital. Tim came home around then, and things started to really pick up. Tim says that at this point I kept saying, “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know anything!”

From there, I moved to my bed to labor away, and Soren joined me at one point — complete with deep breaths on his end to “help” me with mine. He was a little concerned about me. We shared some good cuddles in between.


Tim got dinner going for Soren, and the doula showed up at 7 p.m. I kept telling her I didn’t remember what to do — I was sure she’d have a magic position for me to try that would make it all bearable. The contractions were more intense than I remembered with Soren, and although I managed the pain in the same way I had with Soren (basically just lots of breathing and moaning), everything seemed harder. I did love having the doula there to squeeze my hips during contractions — it provided a teensy bit of relief each time.

I think one thing that made everything more difficult this time was my distraction from the moment — I could hear Soren and Tim reading stories and getting ready for bed. I knew Tim had called some friends to come over and stay at our house with sleeping Soren, but I didn’t know the details and was curious about how it would work out (they’d need sheets and pillowcases and instructions on how to use the baby monitor, etc.). I wasn’t sure what I should wear. I hadn’t packed any sort of hospital bag, so Tim quickly threw a few things into a duffel. And I was really concerned about the fact that I hadn’t eaten since lunch — I became a little bit obsessed with trying to think of something to eat that would sustain me through the most difficult thing a body can do. But of course nothing sounded appetizing — I was probably entering the transition stage at this point.

My contractions quickly moved from 10 minutes apart to 5 minutes apart. And I started getting nervous about the potential for the baby being born in the car, since with Soren I had only arrived at the hospital with just enough time to push. So the doula and I made our way down to the front porch while Tim loaded the car and brought it to the street (Soren was in bed at this point). I moaned my way through a few contractions on the porch, and our friends arrived to stay with Soren. (I remember apologizing to them that I couldn’t make eye contact.)

The drive to the hospital is about 15 minutes, and it took everything I had to manage those contractions on my own (with Soren I made Tim pull over every time I had a contraction, which really prolonged the trip). I somehow was with it enough to direct Tim’s driving, as well — sorry, Tim. (Tim says, “You were basically having contractions the whole drive there, except for that brief moment when you tried to backseat drive.”)

We pulled into the emergency parking, and a couple of nice EMTs quickly brought a wheelchair over to the car. No way my body was capable of walking at that point. Tim pushed me through the emergency room, and I almost lost it when an old man was blocking our way by standing in the center of the aisle, oblivious to my pain. (Fortunately, a nurse yelled at him for me.)

When we got to the labor and delivery floor, the nurses asked me to walk to the nearby room I was assigned to. As if I could walk. I refused their request and opted to be wheeled into the room instead (the same thing happened with Soren). Once I was in the room, they had me go to the bathroom, and then once I made my way to the bed they strapped the fetal monitor to me for the initial check. I don’t have any recollection now of what was going on at that point — I wasn’t exactly conscious of my surroundings — but I guess everything was safe and sound, because I know they took the monitor off me before I started pushing.

Contractions were as hard and heavy as ever, and I was expecting everything to be over quickly since with Soren’s birth I walked into the hospital room fully dilated. But when Dr. Hardiman arrived at the hospital — which was a breath of fresh air for me — and checked me, I was so disappointed to hear I was only dilated to eight centimeters. Kind of discouraging. Only three hours had elapsed since my first contraction, but it sure felt like the hardest and longest thing in the world.

I was still struggling to feel like I was managing my contractions effectively. I kept thinking there surely was some miracle position I could try to make it bearable. I tried laying down, I tried on my hands and knees, I tried leaning against the raised back of the bed. I got to the point where I said — out loud — that I just couldn’t do it. But Dr. Hardiman told me I was probably close to push time, and she asked what position I’d like to be in for that. I still wanted someone to just tell me how to do it, so I asked what she recommended. I was on my hands and knees at this point and not feeling particularly confident there, and Dr. Hardiman told me that was just fine if I preferred it, but she also said that if I pushed laying on my side it would make it easier to hand the baby to me for cuddling as soon as he came out.

So on my side I went, and the pushing was even harder than I remembered with Soren. I just wanted it to be over. I felt like there was no way I could do it. And everything still felt like it was taking far too long, even though I could see the clock and I knew it was not quite 9 p.m. I had the nurse and the doula help hold one leg up, and I pushed with all my might. I remember Dr. Hardiman saying I was doing it just right, which seemed impossible to me since the baby was still inside me and not out where I wanted him to be. And even when they said they could see the baby’s head, I still felt like we weren’t making any progress. I just wanted the whole thing to end! But it was only three sets of pushing — so less than 15 minutes — and the little guy popped right out at 9:07 p.m. And I felt absolutely drained.

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Our first picture together, taken 13 minutes post birth.

They placed Shaw on my chest right away and he whimpered and cried while I laid there, exhausted and not feeling capable of doing anything more than keeping my arms around him. Dr. Hardiman helped me deliver my beautiful placenta a few minutes later, and she and Tim clamped and cut the cord after it had stopped pulsing. Dr. Hardiman also stitched up one small tear. After about 40 minutes of cuddles with Shaw, they borrowed him for a quick in-room weight, height, and APGAR check. He was 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20″ (Soren was 7 pounds 2 ounces and 20 ¼”). And then after they handed him back to me for more skin-to-skin time, he quickly made his way to the breast for his first attempt at eating. I was surprised at how hard that tiny baby could suck!

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After birth pains, anyone?

After birth pains, anyone?

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After Soren’s birth I had felt so invigorated and strong and powerful — I remember telling everyone I could do it a million times over. This time, while I was still proud of what I’d accomplished, I felt like I could never do it again. Which is funny, since Dr. Hardiman told me she wished she could package up my births and gift them to all her patients. It’s a great feeling to know you’re loved by your doctor and nurses because you make things very easy on them — Dr. Hardiman was at the hospital for a whopping two hours for Shaw’s birth, from arrival to finishing up her paperwork.

But now, weeks later, I still feel wary of having another baby. I’m convinced it’s the most difficult thing in the world you can do — physically and mentally. I don’t mean to make it sound like the whole experience was negative — in fact, I can’t think of anything that would’ve made it better or easier than it was. But man, it was intense. And certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it was worth it! Just look at this guy!

Two hours after birth.

Two hours after birth.

Tim and Soren came over early the next morning so Soren could meet Shaw before preschool started. Soren was enamored by the fun buttons on the hospital bed.

Tim and Soren came over early the next morning so Soren could meet Shaw before preschool started. Soren was enamored by the fun buttons on the hospital bed.

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October 2015

October might be my new favorite month. So many fun things to do and events around town, not enough time to do them all. I think the fact that we were down to our last weeks as a family of three also motivated us to make the most of our month. As each weekend approached we noticed our Saturday calendar was filled, and all my hopes of getting errands and cleaning done on our free day were killed. But it was worth it.

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My good friend Rachael came over one night for a DIY binge with me. We made elderberry syrup for immune support, lip balms spiked with essential oils (I added washi tape to the containers later and they look SO cute), and dozens and dozens of Larabars.

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As we wrapped up dinner at Punjab Palace one night, our server brought Soren a complimentary dish of ice cream. “I might need to brush my teeth,” Soren said. “It’s sugary!”

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Sunday morning adventures.

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These kids had a train, and Soren walked circles around them for awhile, looking longingly at their fun.

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We ditched Honeypot Hill this autumn for Parlee Farms — a new favorite. In the past I’ve enjoyed apple picking for the fun of it, but I’ve never been wowed by the apples we’ve picked (especially considering the cost). But this year was different. Best apples of my life. (And great cider donuts, too!)

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And the hayride to get to the orchards can’t be beat.

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Hay bale maze? Yes, please!

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One Friday afternoon Soren and I headed to the waterfront after nap time for a fall festival outside of the Children’s Museum. Turns out it was $1 night at the museum!

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The next morning we found more vehicle fun at a touch-a-truck event in Waltham. Soren got to “drive” and/or play in a fire truck, a tow truck, an ambulance, a moving truck, a few school buses, and more.

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He opened and closed the school bus doors for a good 20 minutes.

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That afternoon, we ventured to the river for the Head of the Charles. We got there just as the races were ending, so we found a dreamy parking spot and didn’t have to battle the crowds. We even saw a few boat collisions! And then we loaded up on ice cream.

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My dad flew in for a quick two-day visit. We played at the playground, we ate pizza and watched the trains at Regina’s, he took Soren to visit a few nearby construction sites, and we spent a morning at Drumlin Farm.

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Soren was excited to learn that Stephen Savage would be at this year’s Boston Book Festival. He’s the author of “Where’s Walrus,” which has been a recent favorite in our house. (“Supertruck” and “Little Tug” are also great.) I love how Soren is sitting front and center.

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After the reading, there was a little time for Q&A. Look at Soren up there with his hand raised!

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Soren’s question was this: “Can you draw a penguin?” Stephen Savage thought he said “pumpkin,” so Soren got to take home a signed drawing of a penguin and a pumpkin. Tim and I were REALLY glad for this — it meant we didn’t have to stand in the long line and buy the book!

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After grabbing a smoothie at B. Good we zipped over to Harvard’s football stadium for their annual community day — free tickets (and lunch!) to a football game. I’m 36 weeks pregnant here, but I don’t think I looked quite that puffy in real life — I blame it on the coat and the angle of the photo!

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That night was our church Halloween party. We had to snap a shot with our monster door, which was partially brainstormed and executed by Soren.

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On the 30th we did the annual trick-or-treat on Washington Street. Many of the candy givers offered treats to me as well — “it’s for the baby!” they’d say.

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After trick-or-treating we walked down to the Y for the Halloween pizza party. Soren axed every tree and apartment building he could reach.

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Along the way, Soren started noticing other kids eating their candy. I don’t know if it had occurred to him before then that eating the treats was an option. “I want to do what those kids are doing,” he said. So we let Soren eat the donut half he’d received from Dunkin Donuts. His dream come true.

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On actual Halloween we went to the library parade in the morning. Soren was pleased to be at the front of the line, right behind Anne the librarian. After the brief walk around Oak Square everyone ventured into the fire station for a little celebration there.

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Soren went trick-or-treating three times this year, and he never once ate candy! Major mom win. Leading up to the holiday we had discussed the “sugar witch switch” thing. I don’t know if he completely understood it, but he didn’t really ask about the candy. The morning after Halloween we gave him a $0.40 Matchbox car and a cheap paperback book and told him that was the gift from the imaginary sugar witch. He seemed pretty happy. A couple weeks after Halloween he asked about the candy and said he wanted it. But I reminded him about his gifts, and that was that! We’ll see how many more years I can pull that off.

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I hit 37 weeks of pregnancy at the end of the month and started feeling the nesting urges. The result was an IKEA trip and lots of package deliveries. I never actually got around to the organizing projects I dreamed up, though…